Zach Horner Research Draft 2 Workshop

1. A large amount of material is made easy to understand and is very organized.

2. Any concerns?

3. Thesis is great, explains focus well.

4. Thesis correct and bold.

5. Essay has 1,911 words not including references.

6. This is an easy nine. Very interesting topic with many different facets considered in depth.

7. More discussion of ghost cities and the effect on the local people would strengthen your argument and be interesting to the reader.

8. There are no clear solutions presented in the conclusion and no clear call to action.

9. Add some solutions or call to action in the conclusion. Should all dams be returned to original state? No new dams? What is a good alternative?

10. Each paragraph relates well to the thesis.

11. Mostly good, the 5^th paragraph to 6^th needs some work. A quote ends and the new paragraph does not start smoothly at all.

12. Opening is much improved and captures my attention nicely. Maybe move first sentence down into the paragraph more.

13. Conclusion is logical and complete but needs a call to action.

14. Draft contains 13 sources with over 5 being scholarly.

15. Sources are pretty equally used.

16. Citations are done correctly and vary in format (not just (blah, 2012)).

17. No unused sources.

18. Good balance of opinion to quotes.

19. No long quotes.

20. No.

21. The only quote needs commentary after it. This would also help the transition to the next paragraph.

Looks great! A good paper got even better.