2. Ask the author for one particular concern that s/he had about the draft. Examine that area and see if you can offer the author helpful suggestions.
Thesis
3. Does the author clearly express his/her opinion of the topic in the thesis?
Yes, the author clearly express’s their opinion of the topic in the thesis.

4. Does the thesis follow the format we’ve been using (ALTHOUGH clause, argumentative claim, BECAUSE clause with 3 reasons of support). Is thesis bolded or underlined and in last sentence of intro paragraph?
The thesis does follow the format we have been using. The thesis is NOT bolded or underlined, but it is the last sentence of the intro paragraph.

Content
5. How many words is the draft, not including References?
There are 1512 words in the draft, not including references.

6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting did you find this paper to read? Be brutally honest!
I rate the paper a 6, only because there were some distracting parts, for instance, I couldn’t quite understand how the nuclear reaction plants tie in with the rest of the paper.

7. Where can the author more fully develop ideas, either by providing examples or explaining/clarifying concepts for the reader?
I didn’t understand how the nuclear power relates to the rest of the paper.

8. What kinds of objections might someone who disagrees with the author’s point of view raise?
A possible objection may be that the petroleum industry has now implemented more reliable, preventive measures to ensure that there is very minimal impact on the environment. Another possible objection could be that there is much more oil available than thought.

9. Has the author dealt with these objections? If not, suggest some good places to deal with them.
These objections have not been dealt with. A good place for this objection would be in the section that discusses oil leaks and spills.

10. Is the relationship between each paragraph and the thesis clear? If not, what suggestions do you have for the author to improve the connection?
In the paragraph about natural disasters; do natural disasters pose an issue themselves, or do they exasperate an existing issue?
What is the relationship of nuclear power to the environmental issue of petroleum?

Style
11. Are there easy transitions from one paragraph to the next, or does the author jump from topic to topic?
I feel the transitions from one paragraph to the next are well done.

12. Does the opening of the essay capture the reader’s attention? How so? If not, what suggestions can you make that might strengthen the opening? Does the essay have an informative yet interesting title?
The opening did capture my attention. The opening relates petroleum to the reader’s life and then informs the reader of petroleum’s impact on the environment.
The essay does have an informative title, and it could be because I am silly, but I like that it rhymes.

13. Does the concluding paragraph serve to bring the discussion to an end that logically follows from the thesis and its direction? If your buddy’s conclusion just restates the thesis, call him/her on that, and help them come up with a better conclusion. Maybe give them tips from the Hacker handbook (section C).
The concluding paragraph does just restate the thesis. I believe that by integrating the conclusion into the beginning of the paragraph before it will be great. The paragraph before the conclusion paragraph would end the essay nicely.

Research
14. Does the draft contain at least 10 sources (5 peer-reviewed/scholarly sources from EbscoHost or another database).
The draft has more than 15 sources.

15. Does the author rely heavily on just 1 or 2 sources, or does the author equally use all of the sources to support the paper’s thesis?
I am not sure if the author relies heavily on just 1 or 2 source. I do not believe that the sources were all cited as they should have been. All ideas and paraphrasing MUST have in-text citing. There seems to be a lot of information that lacks in-text citing. This has been new for me and my first essay did not include the in-text citing it should have had.

16. Does the author use in-text citations after every quotation, statistic, paraphrase, idea and opinion borrowed from research? Are the in-text citations done in correct APA formatting?
NO. Unless I missed one, only 5 sources from the reference list were cited in the essay.

17. Does the author have anything on the Reference list that is not used in the essay (she/he should not).
Many of the references are not cited in the text, although I do not know if it is because they were not used or simply just not cited.

18. Does the author have more quotations/statistics/paraphrases/etc in his/her paper than personal opinion? Essay should read as an argument, not as a report.
There seems to be a decent balance.

19. Are they any quotations that are longer than 2 lines?
Yes, there is one quotation, and it is longer than 2 lines.

20. Are there any quotations that you think should instead be paraphrased? Remember that too many quotations lead to clunky and chunky essays.
This quotation can be broken up into paraphrasing, and even elaborated on for each instance listed in the quote. This would add more depth to this component of the thesis as well.

21. Any quotations should be commented upon. They are there to support the author’s argument, not to make it. Does the author comment after every one? If not, help the author decide what the underlying reason behind putting the quote in the paper was.
There is not comment on this quote, it is the ending of the paragraph.

Other?
Is there any other feedback you’d like to give your buddy?
The title of the paper is not needed in the body; it is already shown in the subject heading for the essay.

How do I invite you to comment? I am a little confused about how the contact with our partners in workshopping works.

Nicole